The
Poetry Of Jodi Herman
technicolor
act I
having set up my easel
in what i thought was perfect shade
having prepared my palette
with varied hues in vast array
having made my choice of brushes
with what i thought was greatest care
i set out to paint life, as only i would dare.
i sketched with charcoal pencil
just the flimsiest out line, yet
distressed by the pervading sense of ordinary
i smudged out each and every line
rubbing out any definition
any resemblance to the norm
until the canvas of my life, was free from any form
intrigued by the paints indulgence
i added colors one by one
mixing, blending, muting, blotting
out, the outline with which i had begun
i lashed out with raw abandon
drunk on technicolor wine
till the life i had created, resembled anything but mine
act II
come midday, as the sun reached her apex
and removed the sweet buffer of shade
i gazed upon the masterpiece i'd created
taken aback by the mess that i'd made
what i had seen as great spectrum's of color
had bled together, leaving huge gaping voids
the beautiful life i had painted, was clearly all but destroyed..
with no way to blot out all the darkness
no bright color to render it light
grasping blindly i grabbed for my brushes
against all odds, they were still with in sight
i scrubbed at the blackness with thinner
fueled with anger, denial, and rage
in my fervor to take it back, to erase it,
i dug deep pock marked holes in the page
as i stared at my canvas in ruins
tears of confusion further riddled my sight
"how," i ask, "how could this have happened?
when i had started out all color and light?"
in disbelief i stared back at my canvas
surely it was something i'd missed
but i was so sure of myself as i painted,
this dream life that had ceased to exist….
act III
i pause long, and lament my dalliance with color
i mourn my once virgin canvas, now gone
as the sun sets slowly, and paints the western sky,,
in the shadows, i cry out for beauty, pray for dawn.
but i know, just one day is all i've been given
just one canvas, just one palette, just one try
i have to choose,, i can save it or i can destroy it
my life, my canvas,, i can pick up my brushes, or i can die..
for quite some time now, death has seemed
the only answer.
i've closed my eyes, held my breath, refused to see,
that tho my canvas is not what i set out to make it
i still have my palette,, my brushes,, and me…
so here i stand,, poised before my easel
as dusk approaches,, and i await the moon and stars
afraid to change, but i cannot help but wonder
what it will take, if i am ever to hide the scars??
i think i'll wait and look at it again
in the moonlight
things might look different in her opalescent glow
i might see a beauty that until now has eluded me
and in my darkness and imperfection find my soul…
top
pearls
before swine
first leaves, they fell unnoticed
still lush and green and full
the winds grew cooler
the temperature fell
convinced it was just summers lull
windows soon, were closed at night
to keep out the thin cool air
a fire or two was lit in the stove
yet when the sun shone,,
surely summer was still there
twas not until,, the colors came
the orange yellow and red
glazing the smooth green surfaces
that stark truth, became reality
winter's white, surely lies just ahead
with the first unforeseen freeze
fate's final die, it was cast
there was no turning back from here
the winds blew hard,, they scattered.
painted leaves,, had clung their last
now sparse and bare
adorned, in hurtful, bitter, thorns
the vine she stands alone
clinging still, to her dormant life
as summers youth she mourns
i find myself,, that withered vine
unsure how to proceed
knowing at last,
what they spoke was the truth,
youth and beauty will surely recede
entrapped in my own thorns,,
dried withered vine
beauty lost, youth misspent,
cast off in autumns too early dusk
pearls before swine…..
top
miss
masie
she outlived all her husbands
and suiters weren't many now
so miss masie took to making friends
the best way she knew how
she bought a ball of worsted yarn
and let her needles fly
she fashioned them after men she'd known
all quite pleasing to the eye
her favorite was a gent called mort
who came out pretty well endowed
and the liberties he took with her
were more than should have been allowed
all was well till the neighbors caught
a glimpse of her and mort
lip locked on the sofa
swigging snifters of cheap port
the law was called and in a jiff
her entire entourage was shred
so now behind drawn blinds she sits
and cross stitches them instead!!!!
top
..hell
of a night..
as i slipped the key in the ignition
of my cherry '57 chevrolet sedan
i remember thinkin' to my self
i can do this.. yes i can
i slipped out on the highway
in what i believe was dawns first light,
i have no idea what time it was
it had been a hell of a night
i reached into my shirt pocket
to grab myself a smoke
the engine started to cough a bit
so i let off on the choke
i couldn't find my matches
so i popped the lighter in
white line stretched out ahead of me
oh what a night i'd been
i could tell by the way she pulled me along
that white line had me in tow
she knew just where my house was
she knew the way to go
mesmerized i let her guide me
up around that mountain road
i plum forgot that i was drivin'
as around the curves i rode
i cracked the last beer of the evenin',,
and chugged down a long cold swalla'
took a deep drag on my cigarette
as we was comin' up out of the holla'
and as i cranked the window down
to discard my cigarette
i looked down over the mountain side
and it was then i started to sweat
i grabbed and spun the wheel as
one tire slipped over the side
when i did that i lost all control
and my rear end swung out wide
i heard the crack as we hit the wall
i tried to bring her out of that tail spin
i watched as we went over the mountain side
and thats when the panic set in
i prayed to god, i saw my life
as it flashed by in bolts of light
i thought for sure i was a goner
all alone there that dark night
somehow while i was prayin'
beggin' forgiveness for the brunt of my sin
that chevrolet she came to rest
and i just had to grin
i knew right then that i'd been spared
somewhere somehow someway
and that someone up there liked me
and i would live another day
i climbed out the broken windshield
on to the hood all covered in glass
seemed all my parts was accounted for
so laid down on the cool wet grass
it occurred to me as i lay there
in that dawns early mornin' light
"i gotta quit drivin' when i'm drinkin'"
lord,, it had been a hell of a night
top
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