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Twisting of words and turning of phrases by Robert Cameron Hazelton
A date I will never ever forget, 9/9/99, the day my life changed forever. You see for most of my semi-charmed tenure among the breathing, I did a lot of nothing. Oh I dabbled in this, doodled with that; I wrote some songs and thought I could sell them, and I probably could have if I had accepted the fact that nothing happens without putting in the work. But I was much too impatient and just plain naïve about everything, including taking good health for granted. My Mom had been a nurse when I was younger and was always very careful about bringing us up. I never had any major illnesses, except for mumps and chicken pox, and never broke a bone. There were of course the obligatory scrapes and bruises that any active child will suffer, but that's it. So imagine my surprise when that September day I found myself in my doctor's office holding my intensely throbbing stomach, turning green, and waiting for the other ten people that, I'm sorry, didn't appear to be on the verge of death, as I felt I was. At any rate, they get me checked out and send me right over to the adjacent hospital, I am thrown a flashy gown, punctured more times than I care to count, then told my doctor will be with me shortly. When he finally showed up he informed me that sections of my intestines were severely infected, and that more than likely they would need to be removed. I was devastated. I had never had any surgery, except for a bunion removal, and I was scared. Of course when the time actually came I had already gone almost a week without food (IV only) and was feeling quite delirious, so I said "Let's get this over with." Yeah, OK. I have never felt more humble than I did when I was wheeled before four people I've never met before, and plopped on a table stark naked where I lay shivering. They all seemed quite jovial and assured me everything would be fine. One proffered a warmed blanket to cover me, and I don't believe I have ever felt as peaceful as I did that last second before the anesthesia kicked in. The next thing I remember is PAIN! I awoke to find an older nun with a very concerned expression on her face asking me not to move too much. Having never been knocked out before I was extremely groggy and disoriented. My first response was "It hurts down there." The nun gave me a knowing look and said "Don't worry, it's just the catheter." Huh? I'm sorry, did you say what I think you did? But even that was eclipsed by the pain I felt in my abdominal area. I never was much of a fisher, but now I know I never will be because I have experienced first hand what it's like to be gutted, replete with custom scar. But believe it or not, the pain was a good thing. I had much time for introspection while occupying that lumpy bed, and I realized just how meaningless and wasted my time on earth had been so far. Call it karma or whatever you want but I was and am still quite certain that it was my punishment for 2 decades of blatant sloth. And it made me much tougher than I had been, making me painfully aware (pun intended) what a baby I previously was. I made the decision before I was discharged
that once I got better I would just put stuff out there and see
what happens. I began to post some poems I had written on a site
called The Web Poetry Corner and to write furiously, determined
to leave some type of mark that said Bob Hazelton Was Here. This
led to workshops and associations with great friends and colleagues
such as our own Shirley Allard, which led to more growth. When
I started posting I had about fifty poems, now I'm well over
a thousand and going strong. There are many days when I feel
I've had enough and don't even want to get up, but then I revel
in the pain remembering how good I have it, knowing I'm truly
alive. © Robert Cameron Hazelton 2008
Robert Cameron Hazelton lives in Amsterdam, New York and writes the poetry blog Average Poet. For more from Robert visit his columns: February, January, December, November, October; and his poetry: December, November, and October. Or his online home. |
Cheshire Cat
Nothin' Better
Songs
of
