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Ryan does exhibit several traits that point to autism, such as his obvious lack or need for social interaction. He seems to be most content with paper, literally engrossed for an hour, taking one sheet after the other and methodically ripping them into shreds. Bear in mind this is not some haphazard, frenzied endeavor. Certainly on rare occasions it evolves into that, but ninety percent of the time Ryan will tear the sheets long-ways, into unbelievable equal widths with a precision that baffles me. He will continue his task until the paper runs out, so finally my rough draft scrap heap has met its match. Since Ryan's birth my brother and sister-in-law
have lived some distance away so we have never had the luxury
of seeing them on a regular basis. During Ryan's early years
he was mesmerized by movies, Disney movies in particular. Unfortunately
he was also prone to frequent physical outbursts of emotion.
Before moving on I feel a need to explain, so there's no misunderstanding
of what I'm about to describe. During these outbursts, there
were times when Ryan had to be physically restrained before reason
could be imparted. He had no concept that his flailing about
inflicted pain on those nearby, mainly his parents. The restraint
was not meant to be mean-spirited or punishment, but only allowed
the necessary time for information to be absorbed. Several years ago when we were visiting, one such outburst took place after watching 'Aladin'. I'm not certain anyone ever discovered the cause of his irritation, but no one doubted the severity of it. After his mother's repeated attempts to calm him were rebuffed, her husband stepped in. With Ryan's thrashing arms and legs now in check, his father attempted to reason with him. Ryan was having no part of it; physical restraint only seemed to fuel his frustration. He developed a most evil look in his eyes, particularly for a child, and screeched out at his father, "street-rat!!" We all burst into laughter, unable to help ourselves. Ryan may not have understood 'Aladin' completely, but he grasped the context precisely and the derogatory manner in which this phrase was used in the movie. So far it doesn't appear that he has reached any kind of learning plateau, his discoveries are only delayed by several years. Ryan has made significant progress since the last time we saw him. Physical outbursts are nearly non-existent and he speaks more readily now than ever before. Although at ten, he still typically limits his answers to very short sentences. I'm left with the impression he doesn't lack comprehension, only the ability or perhaps the desire to put his response into words. His mother also tells us he is drawn to music, and has made a new friend at school. "Lily", who has actually been diagnosed with a variation of autism, is frequently in his thoughts and readily expressed. On Saturday evening in our home, democracy ruled; it was decided through popular vote we would have pizza. My wife was setting the table when Ryan came back to inform me it was time for dinner, "Ready uncle Dan….PEEETSAAAAA!", spelled exactly as it was enthusiastically exclaimed. After we finished eating I asked him if the pizza was good? His eyes brightened two shades as he reached for my hand and raised it as high as he could reach, "High five-PEEETSAAAAA was good!" Soon after dinner, barely 6:15 pm, Ryan
has settled down for the night. When fatigue sets in he doesn't
hesitate to announce "jammies". Once his mind is made
up, he's out of his clothes, into his sleep-ware, and looking
for the 'rack', but who could blame him? These are the times
I envy Ryan. He doesn't allow the surrounding or the presence
of others to influence his moods nor decisions. How bad could
that be? Believe me, two hours into a boring visit from unexpected
company I would love to lean back, casually yawn, and yell "jammies"!
Sending my house guests scrambling for their coats and keys,
unsure of the precise moment I would start removing my clothing.
I do apologize; however accept no responsibility for any unpleasant
visuals you may have just encountered. Ryan's Lullaby What do you see my darling boy? What do you desire my little man? What will you be my grownup man? Dan Beams is a 40-year-old self-described simple man. He lives in a small town in central Illinois, with his wife, Beth, and two children, Allie 15, and Jacob 12. By a strange twist of fate, the loss of his job last year, led to his love of writing. Although this new passion is less than a year old Dan has established a great connection to the intrinsic power of the written word. Writing has again impressed upon him the fact that the key to a successful life is to possess, in great abundance, those things not easily measured. You can read more of Dan's poetry at http://poeticjustice-dan.blogspot.com/ |
Cheshire Cat
Nothin' Better
Songs
of
My wife and I had a unique experience this past
weekend. We watched my sister-in-law's four children over night.
Not that watching four children under the age of ten isn't unique
in its own right (at least for us), but the oldest has a 'severe
learning disability'. A very broad category, but the only diagnosis
a myriad of doctors can offer Ryan's parents. They admit he has
some characteristics of autism, but not enough to warrant that
diagnosis. They say that perhaps in the next twenty years they
may have a category to place him in. How reassuring that must
be. It saddens me that in a world that demands individuals be
lumped into a category to be accepted, there is no slot for Ryan.
